There’s no easy way for me to say this, even though it could be said in one sentence. That’s because it wasn’t an easy thing to decide, since it’s such a big part of my life and a personal thing to me. I have given this much thought, discussion, and prayer for probably over a year and although I knew from the moment I considered it, I was still reluctant to give in. I feel the time has come for me to lay down my photography business, hopefully for just a time.
There are many factors that play a part in this decision and I know I probably don’t even need to explain, but I feel like it will help me have a sense of closure for this season of my life. I never expected to have such a passion for photography when I picked it up back in 2008. Wow, that means I’ve been doing this for ten years, where has the time gone?! I had such a dream to start our own business, back when Josh and I lived in Wisconsin and we just had one precious little baby.
I almost felt like I needed to prove to myself that I could do it, be successful at something. I grew so much over these last years, learned so much, and met so many wonderful people! I constantly pushed myself out of my comfort zone, with every booking I said yes to, even though a lot of times I was crazy nervous, I took it anyway, and it stretched me…I feel I’m better for it. I am so grateful for the experiences and opportunities.
At this stage in my life, now with four young children that I’m so blessed to stay home and raise, and homeschool, and a supportive husband who is my best friend, I am needed. They need and deserve a mom and a wife who can devote herself fully. I always tried to find balance but in all honesty, I just don’t work like that. When I go after something, I’m just all in. I stayed up way too late to finish whatever work needed to be done, not getting the rest I should. I didn’t take the time needed to plan and cook the meals I should. I started letting my health take a back seat, and I’ve had some health scares this year. I don’t like the direction I was heading. I don’t want anyone to have my leftovers, clients or family. I want to give my best and feel good about it. I want to rest my head at night and feel like I’m fulfilling what God has called me to do, and I believe for this season, my most important job is to be the best mother and wife I can be, all in.
I’ve cried over this decision and I’m crying as I type this because somehow, photography became such a part of me. It was a way for me to express myself, but it is such a personal business that I could never say, “It’s just business”…I poured my heart into creating images and I took feedback extremely personal, I don’t know how anyone wouldn’t be able to, but I surely did. I will of course still be able to create, just on my own terms, so it’s not like I’m going to just lose myself. 😉 I am really trusting God in this decision. Trust has always been a hard thing for me and I’m growing in that area, but God always proves He is faithful and even though this is scary for me being a worrier, going down to one income, I still choose to trust, I really feel like this is what I’m supposed to do.
So, all that just to say, I am no longer accepting photography bookings at this time. If anything changes in the future, I’m sure there will be another post, but for now, thank you to everyone who has supported me and to all my loyal clients who loved my work enough to keep coming back to me, you have a special place in my heart!
P.S. I will of course still be fulfilling all my open contracts and posting them, just so it doesn’t cause any confusion. 😉
P.P.S. Josh is and will continue taking bookings for carpentry/construction, so we hope you still keep us in mind! Thank you!